"Billy! Jesus Billy! Don't let the goddamn screen-door slam son... if it breaks again I'm not going to be the one fixing it this time and you and you're mother are..."
"Sorry Pop - Hey Pop! Pop! You're gonna flip you're hat when ya'hear this one! ...You know Clara Kingsley from Millstowne right?"
"...Bruce! Bruce! Shut up with that barking will ya! Bruce! Son, go and see what the dog's having a heart attack about will ya! I swear to god at some point things just gotta..."
"Pop!? Will ya listen for just one second!"
"Clara Kingsly? Phil and Lou Ann's kid? ...What about Clara Kingsley?"
Well, she and Kat went to school together - er wait, She still goes to school with Kat - anyhow, I was walkin past the Griffin place when all the sudden here comes..."
"Bruce! Brucey boy! Settle down for Christ's sake. Look at him Billy he's barkin at the goddamn woodpile... Bruce no! Get outta there boy"
"Ya, ya, ya Pop but listen! So's I was walking past the Griffin place and I had this tennis ball I got from Keith Krammar on account of a bet I won with his little brother Carl - kid bet his tired old tennis ball against my ball glove that the next song to come on the box would be a foxtrot, I said a swing! So what comes on the box Pop? Chattanooga Choo choo!"
"Billy, I've near thirteen minutes left in my life to get through the sports section before your ma come's home from the grocer and starts making trouble fer'me... please get to where you're going so's we can get there already son..."
"Sorry Pop. So anyways it's like this... I was bouncin the ball on sidewalk by the Griffin place and sorta just keepin to myself when all the sudden Nellie Griffin and Clara Kingsly start hollering kinda outta nowhere's! So I being who I am I pretended I wasn't interested and kept my head on the ball so to speak, good one eh'Pop?..."
"Billy."
"Sorry Pop. Anyways Clara Kingsly and Nellie Griffin yell over to me to come up, So I do and wouldn't you know it! Here I find Max Warner and Kip Warner - uh, their not related Pop, only the same name, you see, only pals - anyways. Max Warner and Kip Warner Pop! Sittin on the porch with the girls, laughing and carrying on like..."
"So?"
"'So?' So that only mean one thing Pop!"
"Their helping the Griffins prune that god awful elm in their front yard? They do need to do something about..."
"No Pop! It means that one of'um is callin on my gal!"
"'Your gal'?"
"Well, sorta... I mean Clara Kingsly and I have been kinda friendly - sorta - I mean when she's with Kat n'all. Well, I just kinda figured..."
"Bruce! Bruce! Goddammit!..."
"...I just kinda figured she'd be my gal at some point I guess is all."
"Bruce! Get down boy! You - okay wait - you sorta-just-kinda-figured what again son?"
"Well, that she'd be - or sorta was my gal you know Pop?"
"Did you ask Clara Kingsly to be your gal?"
"Well, not really... only I sorta just thought we had a understanding of sorts. I bought her a brown cow when she and Kat saw me and the fellas at The Main last weekend... .58 cents pop!"
"Well now, wait a minute there, that is a mighty commitment William."
"Yes sir."
"Do you think that maybe the fellas were just stopping in to see the Griffin boy and just so happened that Clara and Nellie were out on the porch when they called?"
"Weeeel I suppose they...."
"Do you really think that Clara and Nellie would'a hollered out for ya if they were being called on by the Warner boys?"
"Their not related Pop only..."
"...I got it Billy."
"Well... maybe you're right Pop - maybe I just overreacted and all."
"How's that?"
"Well, I sorta creamed the Warner that was sittin closest to Clara Kingsly and..."
"Bruce! Down boy! Wait - what? You what?"
"I sorta socked him in the eye."
"Who?"
"Not real sure Pop... I think it was Kip."
"Billy! Aww son then what'did'ja do?"
"Well, I sorta ran off... and... and I sorta dropped my books when I hit'um and now I sorta have to go back and get them some how."
"Well son... I'll say this: you got yourself into a fine situation. Hell, you got emotional and angry and made a damn fool of yourself in front of the fellas and the girls and all on account of a possible misunderstanding."
"Yes sir. I know."
"Well, I think you know what you have to do."
"Yes sir. I do... I'm gonna move."
"Well, that's certainly an option but I think a twelve year old may have a hard time finding a place of his own what without a job an'all."
"Yes sir. I'm gonna wash up and go back over there before supper to apologize."
"Then?"
"Then I'll stop by the Warner's place and say sorry too"
"Which Warner place?"
"Both I guess - just to be sure."
"Good man William. Make sure you tell Clara why you thought you had to 'cream' the Warner boy... don't tell your ma I said but she just might find it romantic in'a way!"
"Think so Pop?"
"Never know!"
"Thanks Pop. I'll be back in a while."
"In time for supper pal."
"Yes Sir. So long Pop!"
"Bruce! Jesus H. Christ Bruce! You and that woodpile... there's nothing in there boy!!"
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