Shammy...

I hadn't been in the office for more than a half hour when I was again jolted by the sudden appearance of the cat in the white tux.
I had just poured my fifth cup of morning joe and was adding in my usual moring componant of Johnny W. to get things off to a numb start. I turned to head back to my spot at the window of my 16th floor nook when sure-as-the-bongos-played there was the cat in the white tux! Mr. Arlen Sham Heimeister - Ol'Sham the kitten would call him.
"Have a seat Shammy me'boy" I says as I turn off the latest news broadcast: a chicky singing for a soap comercial anyhow.
"Well, that's more like it! And don't mid if I do"
"Cigar?"
"Oh, no thanks my good fellow- you know, you shouldn't smoke it renders the heart completely inoperable at a time in your life when you may need it the most. I say, would you happen to have a bit of brandy to get this fine morning of to a crispt start?"
Brandy, he always asked for the stuff. I could never put it down daddio and when I say put it down I mean PUT IT DOWN (the ole' pipe that is.)
"'fraid I don't pops, uh, a coffee perhaps?"
"nnnnno no no no, coffee brings out the Hyde in me. Say, lets talk business shall we? I have been pondering a new concept for your next peice; what say you to a blochant' of green and browns with a hint of blue?"
"Like, I say: count me out ... I don't to Blue Chants"
"Blochant my boy."
"Sure thing, Blochant! Like, I'm a musician pops and real one at that, these is a side business, you understand, a bill-payer ya dig?"
A critic by his own right. The cat was smoth, I gotta give it to him, but boy could he criminal a conversation. Ole' Shammy the hammy knew what lerked arouned the next few questions. He new that I would never budge from my spot at trhe window. He knew that I would never take on the ideals of popular opinion and fold at the drop of a derby.
Ah, but what of the canvas and brush man, what-of-the-canvas-and-brush! You see ole' shammy was me, ole' was me in my own way climbing up a mountain of attempt to get me to stray away from the things I most desire and to hike on down the lane of popular notion and uniform conformity.
Ole' shammy was a ham alright! Always trying to give me the business about changing who I am... besides, how many surfing beatniks are there really?