"What's the Yiddish slang for 'in over my head'?"

"She's twenty-what?!"

"Twenty-two."

"Twenty-two? That's what I thought you said, but often my adolescent brain causes me to misunderstand what I'm being told!"

"What am I to say?"

"What can you say? You, my friend, are 17! An whip! She's not only old enough to drive you to lacrosse practice but she's also old enough to pick you up a pint of cheap whiskey on the way! You're mother and father will no doubt keel over!"

"They don't really know..."

"What'da mean 'they don't really know'?"

"...well, they know I'm seeing a girl - I mean, she's still a girl, per se - they just don't know how old she is."

"A scandal! I love it! You invited her to dinner with your parents, wise guy!"

"Now, that's not entirely truthful..."

"Go on, please!"

"...They set it all up - well, my mother did - and before I could fabricate some form of lousy excuse she pressed me, 'Johnathan, we insist she be our guest! Father and I are excised t'meet her'! I had nothing!"

"Illness... you must fake being ill!"

"I though of that; I can't. I used that on Friday night for my little sister's Bat Mitzvah."

"You skipped out on your sisters coming out on top of this!?"

"It's a long story..."

"Make something up - tell 'um she had something pop up!"

"I can't."

"why?"

"Because she was excited for the opportunity."

"What?! You told her?"

"I HAD TO! I asked her to lie and say she was 18 or 19."

"Is she prepared to play along?"

"No. She asked me how could I ask her to pretend to be someone she's not. Then she said something about me accepting her for her and some other such nonsense."

"What are your folks gonna do, ya think?"

"Oh, that I've all thought out: my mother will cry, no doubt, and my father will elbow me and wink then ask her if she's at least Jewish."

"John, buddy, I can see this all in my mind! Oh, but to be a fly on the wall that night! Why don't you just break it to your folks beforehand, save the outrage and dramatics?"

"Because, I have to be there in... wait, what time is it now?"

"6:30pm"

"...because, I have to be there in thirty minutes. That's why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I also slipped-up and told my mother that she was Jewish... I need to borrow that funny Yiddish dictionary you had so I can cue-her-up on the car ride over."

"You, my friend, you are a schemozzle.... a mess."

"This is true - I need to borrow a tie also!"